Churches that have embraced a culture of generosity have, in most cases, avoided talking about giving money or other possessions to the church. To do so would conflict with the purpose of the stewardship ministry, which is to communicate what the church wants for its people, not from its people.

Inevitably, however, these churches have faced the realities of conducting capital campaigns, the very nature of which requires asking people in the congregation for money. This built-in tension can be avoided with prayer, planning, and advice from some churches that have successfully navigated these waters.

Stopping the Conflict Before It Starts
When the need for a capital campaign arose at Sun Valley Community Church (Gilbert, AZ), the leadership focused on two things: honesty and
results. "We were able to avoid obstacles because when we talked about needing a new building, it wasn't a surprise," says lead pastor Scott Ridout. "We were crowded, so the announcement was met with applause because it was seen by our people as the next logical step."

Talking about money before there was any kind of need has helped bolster current fundraising efforts at Gateway Church (Southlake, TX). "We are located in an affluent area, and money is a hot-button issue for our people," says Gunnar Johnson, stewardship pastor. "Talking about money is a need in our congregation, however, that has to be done before you have a capital campaign. To convince people to participate in what you need before you convince them that you care for them--that's too difficult to overcome."
 
Creating efforts consistent with your church culture will help avoid some conflict, says Jim Sheppard, CEO and principal at Generis, a team of Christian consultants who specialize in capital stewardship campaigns, annual stewardship campaigns and other consulting services. "When cultivating a stewardship culture, the message over and over again is what the church wants for you," Jim says. "We have to realize that giving is more about the need of the giver to give than the recipient to receive."

Money Isn't the Elephant in the Room
Discussions about money can be uncomfortable. "That thinking came a generation ago from the scandals of the televangelists," says Larry Dean, vice president of Injoy Stewardship Services. "Why are we trying to protect people from God's work? If it doesn't make sense, it won't make sense to God's people. If it does, it will make sense to God's people."

Money talk needs to be straightforward, Jim says. "Don't tiptoe around the subject, don't be secretive about it," he adds. "Talk straight. Go in through the front door. Whispering and talking behind closed doors actually makes it worse."

For church attenders who are struggling financially, a message on money can be difficult. For the church, it's an opportunity. "Giving money is a lifestyle issue," Jim says. "There are families making a good living, but they have more going out the door than they have coming in. That's an opportunity for the church to step in and provide discipleship. It's a process. You have to be patient. Give them incremental steps. If they aren't giving, ask them to give one percent. If they are giving one, could they give two? That will feel manageable."

When Consultants Can Help
Even churches with stewardship teams can occasionally use outside guidance. "Working with a consultant is so helpful because they know the trends and they can spot the land mines," Scott Ridout says. "They wake up every day thinking about capital campaigns, which is something I don't want to do."
                                   
Consultants have proven methods to train leaders, says Clayton Smith, executive pastor of generosity at United Methodist Church of the Resurrection (Leawood, KS). "We have had five campaigns, and we have used a consultant each time," he says. "The support they offer and the leadership they can leverage in the church is invaluable."

Managing the stress of a capital campaign is one way consultants help. "About one third of my work is talking behind closed doors with senior pastors," Jim says. "I tell them over and over again, ‘This is not about you.' Many pastors stress about whether their congregation will step up, and somehow their response is a referendum on the pastor's leadership. That's not true, but it feels true at the time."

Many churches are finding ways to avoid the potential conflict that arises over money discussions. "Our mentality is, if we love people and see them spiritually set free, they will do whatever God tells them to do," says Gunnar Johnson. "If you have the mentality of ‘How do we serve and care for people?' they will know it and feel it. They sense it when they come in. As a result, we have a culture where we can talk about money."